How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
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He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize