I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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