Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize