We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize