We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize