he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
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The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
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Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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