Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize