I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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