I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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