ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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