I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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