My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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