its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
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