I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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