So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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