Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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