I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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