Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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