Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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