I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize