i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
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We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
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I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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