I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize