Four minutes until I can fart!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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