I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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