I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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