so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i came on her dog
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize