is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
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I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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