that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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