Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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