Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize