FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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