Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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