Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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