2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize