she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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