Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
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I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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