i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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