Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize