whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize