She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize