Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize