I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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