My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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