My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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