My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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