I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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