Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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