Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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