I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
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coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
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His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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