im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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