I just saw a hot homeless man
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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