Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize