dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize